Maybelline- Iced Mauve

"Sir, we're on beige alert."
---aide to the Neutral Planet's President, on Futurama




This ain't mauve. It might be iced, but it AIN'T mauve. It's beige. I don't know why I bought this. I must have had a total brain fart. Oh, wait, I know why I got it, I wanted something similarly-toned to layer Wet n Wild "Blitzen" over. Blitzen can hold its own over just about anything, so it's less imperative to have this for undies now.

This is thick, chalky, and difficult to apply. It took too long to dry, despite the 50-second claim. Not only that, but it makes a weird dried-film on top, like you'd expect a fast-dry to be, but underneath took forever to set, so it gave me icky lines towards my distal edge.

So...

Report card:

Color= D- (maybe nice for mani hands, but kind of a weird, sallow beige, unflattering I think, the shimmer is ok though)
Formula= D- (very close to unusable, in my opinion)
Brush= C+ (fairly wonky, but not the worst by any means)
Price= B- (I paid 3.22 for mine I think, about average, but a waste considering my disappointment)

Overall= D+

PS, here it is over Blitzen.

Color Club- Catwalk Queen

I'm a model you know what I mean
And I do my little turn on the catwalk
Yeah on the catwalk on the catwalk yeah
I do my little turn on the catwalk
---Right Said Fred "I'm Too Sexy"




Ooh, how pretty! It's a shimmery, vampy, plummy browned-purple. It applied like a dream and was just so flattering on my skin-tone. I think it probably would be flattering for most, even though it's so dramatic. It's just pure sexiness. I found this in a 7 pack at Ross for 7.99 so if you find it, it is worth the money. The other colors were good too, so it's a nice investment.

Report card:

Color= B+ (pretty, although not unique)
Formula= A (very close to perfection, just a smidge unwieldy with the thin brush)
Brush= C+ (thin and a little flimsy, not good with the thick polish)
Price= A (ended up a dollar a polish, which is kick-butt)

Overall= B+

OPI- Yodel Me on My Cell + exciting news!

I went across to Switzerland
Where all the Yodellers be
To try to learn to yodel
With my yodel-oh-ee-dee
I climbed a big high mountain
On a clear and sunny day
And met a yodellin' gal
Up in a little Swiss chalet
---Frank Ifield "She Taught Me How to Yodel"




Lovely color! It's a pretty teal with a metallic shimmer. It wasn't as opaque as I would have liked, but applied well, especially considering it was a mini, which tends to give me probs. Whenever I run out, I do believe I'd like a full-size bottle. It would make for an awesome summer pedicure.

It's rainy and dreary outside today, so this swatch from a few weeks ago is just the thing to brighten my mood.

Report card:

Color= B+ (it's kinda generic in theory, but it's done right)
Formula= B+ (hits all the marks except it is more sheer than it ought to be)
Brush= A (basing it on a full-size bottle, since minis suck)
Price= D- ($8 is either good or bad, if you love or hate the polish, so it's a gamble)

Overall= B-

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++=

And the exciting news is I won a giveaway! My very first actually! It was hosted by Rachel Marie's Nails. I can't wait for it to arrive in my mail box!

OPI- Ali's Big Break

I'm a girl
I'm gonna live the dream
I'm gonna live out my fantasy

Look at me
And tell me what you see
You know what I'm gonna be
---Bo and Monica "I'm Gonna Be a Star"




Not much to say here- didn't like this. It was super thick, gummy, and difficult to apply. I just wasn't a fan. I love the bright, cheery, cherry-red of the bad, but the flecks where just too thick I think? Maybe my novice-ness is just too pervasive, but I just did not apply this well. I had high hopes when I looked at it in the bottle, but once I got down to applying, that hope flew out the window. It was realllllly sheer too.

Oh well...

Report card:

Color= C+ (great in theory, but not so much reality)
Formula= C- (bad, especially a letdown since I love OPI)
Brush= A (OPI generally has good brushes, but this was a mini and sucked majorly)
Price= D- ($8, a toss-up- good if you like it, but a bigtime bummer if you don't)

Overall= C

L.A. Colors- Tease

A song just doesn't come on. I've always had to tease it out, squeeze it out.
---Dorothy Fields





Ew...this was just....ew. Shown is 4-5 coats. It took forever for opacity. By those last coats, I got lazy and disgruntled, hence the horrible paintjob. I knew I was removing it later and never wearing it again.

That's all I got to say about that!

Report card:

Color= D- (except for some slightly interesting blue flash, most unoriginal fuchsia ever)
Formula= F (5 coats! Need I say it again?)
Brush= D- (super thin and flimsy, barely usable with this polish)
Price= A+ (hey, it was a buck- a buck wasted though imo, but I'll give it an A here, generally I am happy with L.A. Colors)

Overall= D+

L.A. Colors- Antique Rose

A single rose can be my garden... a single friend, my world.
---Leo Buscaglia




This is L.A. Colors "Antique Rose" with Color Club "Best-Dressed List" on the ring finger as a comparison. It is a dark clayish color with an interesting golden shimmer. I actually really like it, maybe the most of all my clay-toned polishes. It has a lovely depth hanks to the shimmer. It dried quickly and lasted well, and held up just as well, if not better, than the Color Club did. It hard barely any tipwear at all after 3 days, and the CC had slightly more. And get this- it could easily be a 1 coater if you apply it well!

All that for a dollar! I won't complain!

Report card:

Color= A (very nice, to me. It's one I plan to rewear often)
Formula= A (pretty nifty, it might be slightly thick, but overall, still great)
Brush= C+ (the brush is too thin to me, it would be better if it was a bit sturdier and wider)
Price= A+ (just a dollar, so that's the best you can ask for)

Overall= A-

Revlon- Perplex

EXPERIENCE, like a pale musician, holds
A dulcimer of patience in his hand,
Whence harmonies, we cannot understand,
Of God; will in his worlds, the strain unfolds
In sad-perplexed minors: deathly colds
Fall on us while we hear, and countermand
Our sanguine heart back from the fancyland
With nightingales in visionary wolds.
We murmur ' Where is any certain tune
Or measured music in such notes as these ? '
But angels, leaning from the golden seat,
Are not so minded their fine ear hath won
The issue of completed cadences,
And, smiling down the stars, they whisper--
SWEET.
---"Perplexed Music" by Elizabeth Barrett Browning




I have a terrible camera, in terms of fine, up-close detail like the shimmer in this polish. We also had a spate of terrible weather when I swatched this. But, I can attest that is looks just like all the other online swatches and is just gorgeous! This color has "me" written all over it. I love purples and blurples, and greyish colors, and shimmer. It's also excellent in terms of formula. It was opaque in just one coat for most fingers, though I added a second coat for good-measure, dried fairly quickly, and was hardy and lasted a while. I also think it would be flattering for many skin tones. Just an all-around nice polish.

Report card:

Color= A+ (Love it, even though I know it's a dupe. I am definitely not paying Chanel prices!)
Formula= A+ (also love it, hits all the marks)
Brush= A (mine is ever-so-slightly too narrow, but it is still awesome)
Price= C (I paid $4.49 at Ulta, well worth it!)

Overall= A-

Comparison- Revlon "Perplex" versus NOPI "Bah Plum-Bug"

This is Revlon "Perplex" and Nicole by OPI "Bah Plum-Bug." I had spotted the NOPI at Marshall's and this was before I'd found Perplex at Ulta. So I thought it might work towards my Jones for Perplex/Paradoxal. Obviously, it is more "blurple" than dusky violet like Perplex/Paradoxal. It also has more of a rosy shimmer versus the violet glow that Perplex has.

One shoddy swatch later (ignore icky cuticles and how I didn't bother cleaning it up, I was lazy that night lol)- Perplex on thumb and Bah Plum Bug on pointer.




The differences are even more obvious on the nail than in the bottle. They really aren't alike at all, but, the idea is similar I suppose. Perplex is opaque in 1 coat, I swear. And I believe it's a creme. BPB is a jelly I think, and it took 2 coats, 3 on my thumb and middle finger I think.

I hesitate to pick a winner of these. Obviously, Perplex is gorgeous. But BPB isn't to be ignored either. I am glad to have both, but to be honest, the BPB's quality does leave something to be desired. It definitely needs a good topcoat (or two) because it is not a hardy polish. Easily scuffed for sure!

Comparison- Metallic Orange

I ended up with oodles of metallic, shimmery, or glittery oranges after Christmas. Pictured above, left to right, is Sinful Colors "Courtney Orange," nameless Hard Candy from a Wal-Mart gift set, a nameless Wet n Wild, also from a holiday gift set (Dollar General), and then lastly OPI "Take the Stage."

I did a quick and dirty swatch:




Thumb= SC
Pointer= HC
Middle= WNW
Ring= OPI

The Sinful Colors and WNW are almost identical. They have very similar quality as well, and are both pretty nice. The Hard Candy...whew boy. It's awful. Ain't worth a flying fart. Gritty, stinky, goopy, took forever to dry, ec etc. The fumes from the Hard Candy polishes was just God-awful. Something funky is going on with them. And Take the Stage is nice, but I just don't like glitters in general. It's difficult to apply. It dries nice though and was hardy.

If I had to pick a fave, it's definitely Sinful Colors. A close second is the nameless WNW. Third is OPI "Take the Stage" but only if you like that sort of finish. The Hard Candy one is worhless. It doesn't even earn "4th place" because that implies some sort of value. It's terrible. The bottle is ok though, if you empty it to franken with, but I'm finding it extremely difficult to get the glitter all out.

Nicole by OPI- Bah Plum-Bug

"Bah! Humbug!"
---Ebenezer Scrooge is Charles Dickens', A Christmas Carol




This was a color I was fairly psyched about. I felt like it might be close enough to Perplex/Paradoxal to scratch that itch. It is obviously a more blurple than grey-purple as the others are, and its shimmer is a different colorway, but I still felt hopeful it might be similar.

Application, however, was poop. It was not thick or thin, but just an odd consistency, drying in some places and remaining wet and gooey in others, for no apparent reason. It did dry eventually, and was ok, somewhat glossy, I'm thinking it's a jelly. But, it was chipping, very quickly. As shown, this is less than 24 hours. And it was that chipped basically within 12 hours I'd say. The pointer finger, it chipped really bad when I was out shopping so I just dug it all off while fidgeting.

I might try it once more, but this was very disappointing, to say the least.

Report card:

Color= A+ (it's pretty and unique, in my opinion)
Formula= D- (very ineffective and disappointing)
Brush= B (average, at least that's going for it)
Price= D- (I paid $6.99 for a 2 pack at Marshall's, but it normally runs $7.50 or so for one, which for this quality, would have been extremely disappointing)

Overall= C

Wet n Wild- Blue Moon

I said blue moon of Kentucky
keep on shining
Shine on the one that's gone and left me blue
---"Blue Moon of Kentucky" by Bill Monroe






Not the best swatch, but take it from me, it's a gorgeous color. It's a deep inky blue with delicate shimmer and a great shiny, glossy finish. It's like looking into a pool of starlight.

Application is decent, brush was ok, but not the best. It dried quickly and lasted til I was bored with it (about 2 days). It wasn't easily scuffed nor was it very imprintable once dry. Once again, I am smitten with Wet n Wild.

Report card:

Color= B+ (I like it, it's dramatic, yet I can see it being casual too)
Formula= A- (very nice)
Brush= C+ (this particular one wasn't the best, it was just weird a little, but still fine)
Price= A+ (can't beat 99 cents!)

Overall= B+

Wet n Wild- Lust

Young Lust, you're dying and you're screamin' inside
Oh, you're guilty way before you've been tried
And it's crazy but you're diggin' it
Ooohh
---Aerosmith "Young Lust"




This polish is from the Wet n Wild Color Craze collection. My Walgreens had them on sale so I scooped up this one and Morbid. Lust is a fruit punch pink with a purple glossy sheen. It's unusual and festive, so I think it's perfect for the holidays or special occasions, or whenever you want to feel glam. I loved the formula as well, it applied easily, dried quickly, and was fairly long-lasting, especially for the price. I will definitely wear it again, it's a nice color. The brush handle was a smidge short but in my stubby fingers, it was perfect. The polish wasn't too thick or thin and it was opaque in 3 coats, maybe 4 for good measure and maximum glossiness.

Report card:

Color= B (average, but it's not something ground-breaking)
Formula= A- (pretty dang good)
Brush= B+ (I like the short and stubbiness but I think some might find it clumsy)
Price= A- (normally a $1.99, even though I paid have priced for mine. Either way, not bad)

Overall= B+

Franken- "Apoplexy"

"Apoplexy is a sudden abolition of all the senses, external and internal, and of all voluntary motion, by the stoppage of the flux and reflux of the animal spirits through the nerves destined for those motions."
---Dr. John Arbuthnot




This was my attempt at a Paradoxal/Perplex type color. I took the remnants of the half-empty OPI Soho Nice to Meet You, plus a little black (Sinful Colors, Black on Black), plus a teal metallic with green and gold shimmer which was the sister color to the fuchsia/plum color, in an L.A. Colors' 2 pack called "Paradise." I dumped as much of the teal as I could. This was the result. As you can see, it's more grape-purple than grey-purple. It's ok though. I think it would have been better if the OPI didn't have the silvery shimmer to begin with, I think it throw's the whole intended finish off. I still think it's a pretty color, and it wears well.

Report card:

Color= A- (I think it's unique, and fun, and definitely a color I would like to wear frequently)
Formula= A- (the OPI was thick to begin with, but the addition of the newer, thinner polishes is great, and it maintained it's original OPI quality)
Brush= n/a (just happened to end up in the OPI bottle, which has an awesome brush by the way)
Price= A- (I estimate this cost me about a buck fifty, considering I was about to toss the OPI, it was too thick on its own)

Overall= A-

Sally Hansen- Real Royal

If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest, most dysfunctional family in the world, all you have to do is go to a state fair. Because five minutes at the fair, you'll be going, 'you know, we're alright. We are dang near royalty.'
---Jeff Foxworthy




Real Royal looks much rustier or brownish in the bottle, or mine does. It's a near-black base, with olive-tones showing with one coat, with bronze or copper shimmer. With only 2 coats, it takes on full opacity, and looks black, with the glitter being less noticeable, like flecks floating in water. I believe this is a jelly, for that reason.

It's an interesting color, one that I think is appropriate for fall and winter, and looks like a special-occasion type polish mostly to me, it's just so dramatic. I can see it working in casual situations as well though, but personally, I think it will be a dress-up lacquer.

The finish is glossy and shiny, looking like liquid sitting on your nail. It was ok, as far as dry-time and application went, but did not seem to last as long as I'd like. The brush was also fairly long, which did not help with the application. Price is decent, it is 3 bucks or so at Walgreens, and I paid $2.17 for it, it's on clearance currently at mine.

Report card:

Color= A- (it's interesting, it's fairly unique, but I do wish the shimmer were more noticeable)
Formula= B (I'm gonna call this decidedly average)
Brush= C+ (it was definitely too long and soft, especially paired with thin, runny lacquer)
Price= B- (pretty ok in the price range I'd say, only $3)

Overall= B-

Franken- "Office Party"

"At the Office Xmas Party I met my fate
Under the snowflakes hanging shared a cigarette
The xmas lights were blinking I felt so sure
The decorations over office furniture"
---Office Xmas Party, by Los Abandoned




This is my franken experiment. I have wanted a red duochrome with green flash, after being inspired by Cover Girl's old Nailslick lacquer, Chocolate Mint, a dark brown with green/teal flash.

So, I took an extra bottle of OPI Soho Nice to Meet You that I had laying around that was a smidge thick, plus some of the China Glaze Chiaroscuro, which is a nude with delicate green shimmer. Initially, it was more brown than red, so I added some Hard Candy Fishnet to redden it up. Ultimately, this is what I ended up with. It is a brickish red with silver shimmer (from the Soho) and very random green shimmer, since I couldn't use any more of the Chiaroscuro or risk overfilling the bottle. It's ok, as far as color goes, but not my intended color. I wanted more true red, less rust-tone, and much more in-your-face green flash.

Nevertheless, I do like the color and I will wear it again. The addition of the newer polishes to the old, thick Soho improved it and the formula is nice. It applies smoothly, dries fairly quickly, and it glossy and hardy when dry.

Report card:

Color= B+ (not my intention, but it's still interesting and unique)
Formula= A- (very nice)
Brush= n/a (crap bottle from an old L.A. Colors' French Cream, which I redacted since I determined it was without usefulness)
Price= C- (I calculated the price of this at 4.83, not counting the Soho, since I was about to trash it)

Overall= B-

L.A. Colors- Megawatt

I llllloooooooovvvvvveeee this song from a show my kids watch on PBS- The Electric Company






I found this polish along with half a dozen others at Dollar Tree, a buck each, obviously, lol. I was most excited for this color. I love peachy/pinky/beigey shades, since I am fond of "lazi mani's" where I just put on a single coat of a sheer polish and call it a day. It gives a nice gloss, hint of color, and protects my nail in just a single step.

This one however didn't look right as one coat, at least, not with my stained nails. I can't remember what it was that stained them, but I think it was CG Classic Camel, and that was in September I believe? Or October? Either way, the stained portion is just now over halfway grown out. I'm sure there are ways to lighten it, but I don't know any. I already scrubbed with toothpaste and even buffed it heavily, but this orangey stain is still very visible with clear or sheer polishes.

Mega Watt is a peach-toned beige with very faint gold and silver fine-grade shimmer. First coat, I expected it to be sheer. Second coat, it looked hardly even a smidge more opaque than the first, or even really like I had anything on to begin with. Third coat, same story, although it did finally get at least noticably darker "peach" tone, though still very very sheer. Fourth coat, more peachiness, hardly any more opaque. It really needs more than 4 coats, but I stopped there, since I felt like it was an exercise in futility. My staining continue to show through at 4 coats, and that's not good. They looked like 50 year old chain-smoking divorcee, or maybe Patty and Selma's nails (The Simpsons). If I can get rid of this staining, I will revisit this polish, but it will take a while yet, about another 2-3 months I'm thinking.

Report card:

Color= D- (good in theory, but they made it too thin)
Formula= B+ (it was actually nice, quick-drying, hardy, nice finish, etc)
Brush= B (average)
Price= A+ (can't beat an A!)

Overall= B-

Savvy (Femme Couture) - Hazelnut

Under the hazelnut moon
I know the end is coming soon...
---song lyrics, "Hazelnut Moon" by Joel Willoughby




This is a nice polish. I think it isn't really "hazelnut" but more copper or bronze. It's a very pretty color and I think flattering for most people. But, honestly, it was expensive, especially since I have LA Colors' Topaz, which I feel is comparable enough in color, and maybe even superior in formula, and definitely WAY superior in price. Not to say this one is bad or anything, it's just that I like the Topaz better, and they are so similar, I feel they are kinda superfluous. Oh well.

Report card:

Color= B- (average I guess, and loses points since there are cheaper alternatives)
Formula= B+ (basically average, maybe a smidge better)
Brush= B (average)
Price= C ($4.29 at Sally Beauty- not too bad, but I think for their limited color selection, and small bottles, there are better investments)

Overall= B-

Borghese- La Strada Rose

But friendship is the breathing rose, with sweets in every fold.
---Oliver Wendell Holmes





This was my first Borghese polish. I really fell in love with the brush. This color is ok. It's nothing special, but it is still nice. Just sorta ordinary. It's a dusky rosy dark mauvey pink color with a fine glitter/shimmer. It applies like a dream and the brush is just awesome. Borghese brushes are my absolute favorite as of my experience currently. They are the perfect width and length and are not too flimsy nor too stiff, so it makes it very easy to apply the polish neatly. The pic doesn't show this, since my kids were bouncing around and knocking my strokes off kilter, but under normal circumstances, it's like it applies itself.

Report card:

Color= B (exactly average)
Formula= A- (pretty good, hardy, easily applies, quick-drying)
Brush= A+ (best ever, seriously)
Price= F (they are over 8 bucks at my Walgreens, which is waaaaay too much for this polish)

Overall= B-

Cover Girl- Chocolate Mint

Michael: So I was thinking, if you haven't already got a cake, um, maybe going for one of those ice-cream cakes from Baskin-Robbins. Those are very good. Very Delicious.
Angela: Meredith's allergic to dairy, so...
Michael: She's not the only one that's going to be eating it, right? I think everybody likes ice-cream cake. It's not, uh, it's not just about her, so...
Pam: It is... her birthday.
Michael: Mint chocolate chip! That'd be good, how about some, mint chocolate chip?
---The Office




Ok, I know this is an old polish and supposedly NOT Big 3 Free. But I love it. It's such a fun duochrome and even though it's an old bottle, it applies like a dream and lasted forever. The base is a dark, definitely chocolatey brown and the chromatic sheen is a nice mint. It was also basically a 1 coater, but I put on two to bring out the fudginess of the brown and really give it good-staying power, since I loved it so much. It's a winner! I wish someone would remake this in a Big 3 Free formula, but oh well. And it also provided inspiration for me for a fun holiday polish. I didn't quite meet the mark on it myself with my attempt but I still want to try again. I want a red base with green duochrome. That would pretty much be my mani for the entirety of December til Christmas.

Report card time:

Color= A+ (ultra-unique)
Formula= A+ (easy application, quick-drying, glossy finish, opaque, and very hardy)
Brush= A (I've had better, but it was extremely good)
Price= B- (I paid like 3 bucks or so, including shipping, after finding this on eBay. Glad I got it)

Overall= A-

Sally Hansen- Purple Diamond

Purple haze all in my brain
lately things don't seem the same
Acting funny and i don't know why
excuse me while i kiss the sky
---Jimi Hendrix (Purple Haze)




I bought this with a ton of others at the dollar tree in 2 packs. This is "Purple Diamond" from the Nail Prisms line. It's a fun color, but not something I'd wear regularly. I'd wear it at glammy-fun events, and maybe on my toes during the summer. It's a violet-purple with pretty obvious silvery holo glitter. It applies well, or would, if it didn't have the single most piss poor brush I have ever in my life witnessed. It's like a pipe cleaner, it's so twisted and splayed outward. Serves me right, it was just 50 cents. It dried quickly and was fairly hardy and dried into a nice glossy finish.

Overall, it's not a color I see myself wearing frequently. But, if you love purples and holos, I guess it would be a good investment.

Report card time:

Color= C+ (it's different I guess, but not versatile, and not my style)
Formula= B+ (definitely somewhat better than average)
Brush= F (the absolute worst of all my brushes)
Price= A+ (can't beat a buck, especially for a 2 pack!)

Overall= B-