Maybelline- Iced Mauve

"Sir, we're on beige alert."
---aide to the Neutral Planet's President, on Futurama




This ain't mauve. It might be iced, but it AIN'T mauve. It's beige. I don't know why I bought this. I must have had a total brain fart. Oh, wait, I know why I got it, I wanted something similarly-toned to layer Wet n Wild "Blitzen" over. Blitzen can hold its own over just about anything, so it's less imperative to have this for undies now.

This is thick, chalky, and difficult to apply. It took too long to dry, despite the 50-second claim. Not only that, but it makes a weird dried-film on top, like you'd expect a fast-dry to be, but underneath took forever to set, so it gave me icky lines towards my distal edge.

So...

Report card:

Color= D- (maybe nice for mani hands, but kind of a weird, sallow beige, unflattering I think, the shimmer is ok though)
Formula= D- (very close to unusable, in my opinion)
Brush= C+ (fairly wonky, but not the worst by any means)
Price= B- (I paid 3.22 for mine I think, about average, but a waste considering my disappointment)

Overall= D+

PS, here it is over Blitzen.

Color Club- Best-Dressed List

Any man may be in good spirits and good temper when he's well dressed. There ain't much credit in that.
---Charles Dickens




This might look a little beat-up. I had worn it for 4 days after the holidays, so I was packing up lots of stuff like the Christmas tree, decorations, wrapping stuff, etc. I loved it, and I think it looked great and lasted well. It's a taupey mushroomy earthy tan. Very pretty and flattering to my skin tone. Not sure if it would be flattering for everyone though.

On my ring finger is a comparison of L.A. Colors "Antique Rose." Obviously, it's much redder and much darker, and has the golden shimmer where BDL does not. I like both.

Report card:

Color= A- (pretty lovely, if a bit neutral)
Formula= A (just about the best around)
Brush= B (mine is just average)
Price= B- (I got mine in a multi-pack at Ross for 8 dollars, but they run 3-4 dollars singly online)

Overall= B+

L.A. Colors- Megawatt

I llllloooooooovvvvvveeee this song from a show my kids watch on PBS- The Electric Company






I found this polish along with half a dozen others at Dollar Tree, a buck each, obviously, lol. I was most excited for this color. I love peachy/pinky/beigey shades, since I am fond of "lazi mani's" where I just put on a single coat of a sheer polish and call it a day. It gives a nice gloss, hint of color, and protects my nail in just a single step.

This one however didn't look right as one coat, at least, not with my stained nails. I can't remember what it was that stained them, but I think it was CG Classic Camel, and that was in September I believe? Or October? Either way, the stained portion is just now over halfway grown out. I'm sure there are ways to lighten it, but I don't know any. I already scrubbed with toothpaste and even buffed it heavily, but this orangey stain is still very visible with clear or sheer polishes.

Mega Watt is a peach-toned beige with very faint gold and silver fine-grade shimmer. First coat, I expected it to be sheer. Second coat, it looked hardly even a smidge more opaque than the first, or even really like I had anything on to begin with. Third coat, same story, although it did finally get at least noticably darker "peach" tone, though still very very sheer. Fourth coat, more peachiness, hardly any more opaque. It really needs more than 4 coats, but I stopped there, since I felt like it was an exercise in futility. My staining continue to show through at 4 coats, and that's not good. They looked like 50 year old chain-smoking divorcee, or maybe Patty and Selma's nails (The Simpsons). If I can get rid of this staining, I will revisit this polish, but it will take a while yet, about another 2-3 months I'm thinking.

Report card:

Color= D- (good in theory, but they made it too thin)
Formula= B+ (it was actually nice, quick-drying, hardy, nice finish, etc)
Brush= B (average)
Price= A+ (can't beat an A!)

Overall= B-

China Glaze- Chiaroscuro

"We're each of us our own chiaroscuro, our own bit of illusion trying to emerge into something solid, something real. We've got to forgive ourselves that. I must remember to forgive myself. Because there's an awful lot of gray to work with. No one can live in the light all the time."
---Libba Bray (A Great and Terrible Beauty)




I love this color in the bottle. It's a nudish pink with delicate green and golden shimmer. The formula applies easily and smoothly and dries fairly fast. However, it was so sheer, and it took on a ruddier cast once it was on my nails, making my hands look puffy and my fingers look stubby. But it was hardy and the glossy finish was nice.

I don't think you should buy this color unless this is the kind of look you know you'll like. I tend to like colors like this, but this just doesn't work for me.

Report Card:
Color= C (interesting in theory, fails in execution)
Formula= C (great with application and hardiness, but too opaque)
Brush= A (fairly good brush)
Cost= D+ (5.99 I think? I wish I had my money back on this purchase for sure)

Overall= C+

L.A. Colors- French Cream

French Cream:

* 1 (8-ounce) package cream cheese
* 1 cup powdered sugar
* 1 cup whipping cream
* 1/4 cup granulated sugar
* 1 lemon, zested and juiced
* Pineapple juice

Directions

Soften cream cheese and then whip with powdered sugar. Whip cream and sugar together until it forms soft peaks. Combine beaten cream cheese, whipped cream, lemon juice and zest; continue to beat, adding just enough pineapple juice to achieve desired consistency. Serve with fresh fruit tray or fruit salad.
---Paula Deen, Food Network




French SCREAM is more like it, because that's what it made me want to do when I put it on there, and not in a "OMG, it's the Beatles!" kinda way but a go-ahead-and-commit-me-I-am-losing-my-mind kinda way. Super thick, streaky, globby mess. Dried fast though, but sometimes you can have too much of a good thing. This was one of those moments. It dried nearly as fast as I drew it from the bottle, and eventually the brush, which was already sub-par to begin with, started to glob up. I couldn't get the streaks out either. The pic is with 2 coats, and the more I added, the worse it got.

At least I only paid a $1 for it. But hey, I coulda bought tons of better things for that buck.

Report card
Color= D- (next to falling, it's sorta pukey looking, but it's sheer enough and serves the purpose for a sheer, traditional mani)
Formula= F (streaks, globs, and fugliness)
Brush= C+ (obviously less than average, but was doable)
Price= B (I can't in good conscience put an A, even though it was a buck, since it was such a horrible buy, I'd rather have my dollar back)

Overall= D+

Finger Paints- Putty in My Hands

"With one wave of you hand,
I'm your slave to command
But I'm glad it's okay
Oh anything you say, I'm like a hunk of clay..."
-"Putty (In Your Hands)" by The Shirelles

---




I bought this along with 2 other polishes at Sally Beauty this week, since they had a deal going where they were a buck off plus, if you bought 3, you got a little wallet thingie. I needed a new one, and I love excuses to buy polish, so voila. I bought Putty In My Hands, Art You Blue, and Fiji Weejee Fawn. I'm kinda confuzzled at Fiji Weejee Fawn, since it has nothing to do with fawn at all. It's a dark plummy mauve. I thought it was pretty, regardless of the silly name. But I'll cover that polish later, my nails had to be cut short since I had a booboo with my left middle finger. This is common, since I am a lefty and I hold my pens/pencils funny. I put a lot of pressure on that nail and it will break at least twice a month. So for now, I'm doing the lighter of my fall colors.

So, onto "Putty In My Hands". It's a pretty caramel color with a very delicate, ever-so-slight shimmer, though I still count it as a matte in my little world. Anyway, I put it on, and honestly, I immediately had trouble with it. It was thicker than I am used to, and I dislike the brush, I think it's either too long or too flimsy. It just slid around all willy nilly. It also dried too fast and since it was so thick, it was globby. I was sad. I loved the color. I took it off and decided to try a different color, but then afterwards, I googled around and other people liked Finger Paints, so I decided to give it another try. I took the thickness and quick-drying into account and did a better job of the application the second go-around and I am very glad I gave it another shot. The color is just great- a lovely neutral with a warm, caramelly-coffee-with-milk-and-sugar look. The faint shimmer is a nice touch, making this a very versatile polish. I can see this for all seasons, and it's neutral enough for casual and business but also shimmery enough to transition into classic fancy or night-time look.

So here's the report card:
Color= A- (Lovely color, probably flattering on most skin-tones, but also sort of commonplace at the same time)
Formula= C+ (Too thick for me to apply smoothly, but it did dry to a nice gloss and was very hardy, it lasted 2 days perfectly for me, and probably would've have went longer, but I wanted something different)
Brush=C (could definitely be better)
Price=C- (3.99 is what I paid, which isn't too bad, but it was a special, and normally 4.99, which is almost too rich for my blood.

Overall=C+